There's something growing in that there cage....

We have a visitor.

It is a very unwelcome visitor.

Our beautiful Bearded Dragon, Vadar, had a growth. 

We think that it is Yellow fungus, and on researching this nasty visitor, (google, anyone?) our outlook for the little guy was not too good.

However.....

We searched some more, and found an alternative, and after speaking to our vet, she said it was worth a try! 

The good thing is, that Vadar seems healthy and happy at the moment, so no sickness or lethargy and he is eating VERY well!! 

It's a good job that he likes his baths, because he will be having plenty of them in the next few weeks!! 

It just made me think though. Haribo was heartbroken when we told him, (it's TECHNICALLY his pet) and what crossed my mind was my mum's mentality. My mother will not have a pet, because you get too attached and then it dies, and you get brokenhearted. And seeing his little face, and the concern he has for his animal, I could, for a split second, see what she means. No mama likes to see her child hurting.

However.....

As I look around at all the pets we have, and the animals we want long term, (our dream is a small holding, with chickens, a cow, some rabbits, etc), I would rather experience the temporary heartbreak and the years of joy, companionship and fun that pets bring, than never have one and avoid pain. 

So, animals get sick. So do children. So they cost money. So do children. And spouses. and life. So they need training and clearing up after. So do children. 

Are they the same? Of course not. But the reward of a loyal dog is worth the training time. 
The companionship of a cat is worth the time and effort. The beauty and humor of a tortoise is priceless (and it will probably live longer that you!!) And a boy taking care of his sick dragon warms this mama's heart on a cold winter day :-)

Thoughts and feelings

Another week, another way to feel inferior, it seems.

I love looking through other blogs, and I sign up to a lot of great sites on Facebook all about nourishing food, Greener living and Homestead/sustainable living.

I have dreams. 

I have plans.

I have doubts. Doubts about my ability vs. my desire, about my gifts, about whether I can do the things I want to do in life.

Will God bless me with the house I would love when I am rubbish at keeping my present house clean?

Can I look after chickens, when I struggle to find time to walk my dogs every day?

Can I grind flour, soak recipes, grow food, bake bread, teach kids, and bring up more babies, if the Lord so blesses us, all every day, day after day?

In short, AM I EXPECTING TOO MUCH!!???

I read a great post this week, about not crying about what you sign up for. Very inspiring, and I DID sign up for this. I signed up for homeschooling 4 children. I begged my husband to let me cook from scratch and to try to eliminate more of the processed foods from our lives. I also begged him for another puppy, because one wasn't enough!!

I love my life, I really do. I love the life we have chosen. I love spending time with my kids, and I love feeding them nourishing food, lovingly prepared. 

If I want to follow my dreams, can I?

Can I do all these things? Can I learn? Or can I just be patient and wait until Abba Father moves and equips me with the skills I need to do the things HE asks, not what I want. 

Right now, I'm not feeling very patient. But that doesn't mean I can't be. With a little Help from my Father....

Friday Recipe: Fish Pie

So I was looking at the blog, and noticed that I do a lot of talking about food, but not much by way of producing the good on the recipe front, so I have decided to try and do a Friday Recipe each week. This may be some tried and tested family recipe, or something new we have done just this week.

Today, is the new variety.

This week we had some delicious white fish left over, so I decided to try a fish pie. 

Now, I have to confess, the only fish pies I have ever eaten have been the frozen sea captain variety, and I have never been keen. 

I also have to confess to never really having much luck with any dish that requires mashed potato topping!!! It ends up everywhere, and never really looks appetizing!! But this would be fine, right......??????? 

Fish Pie (feeds 6)
Ingredients

4 large fish fillets
10 medium potatoes, peeled chopped and mashed with butter and milk
1/2 cup sweetcorn (I used frozen)
400ml whole milk
1/4 cup butter
2 tbsp flour (I used white, as it was just for sauce)
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
1/2 tsp mixed herbs
Grated cheese for topping ( optional)


Method

• While your potatoes are boiling, use milk to poach the fish in a pan (watch that it doesn't boil over and lose all of your milk!! Go on, ask me how I know...)
• When fish is cooked, (about 10 mins) scoop out the cooked fish with a slotted spoon and lay in the bottom of a large oven proof dish. Break up a little.
• Reserve the milk to one side, and in the same pan, melt the butter on a medium heat.
• Still on the heat, add the flour, and whisk briskly to combine, making a paste.
• Slowly pour in the warm milk, whisking as you go, to prevent lumps. 
• Continue to whisk as you heat through, and the sauce will begin to thicken. Don't let it get too thick now, as it will thicken more in the oven. Add the salt, pepper and herbs, or to taste, and pour sauce over fish in the large dish. 
• Mash your potatoes, adding your milk and butter, (or cream, or however you prefer to make mash!!) 
• Now I used a piping bag for the first time here, and it worked so much better than the 'splat and spread' methods I have previously used!!
• Top with cheese, if using and put in the oven, at 200c for 15 mins, or until cheese is melted and bubbly.
• serve with vegetables of your choice

We served with cauliflower and broccoli cheese and carrots.

As if I should have been surprised, but the whole family LOVED this dish and have requested that it go on the regular list, and even the Boy Who Hates Potatoes love the mash on the top!!!!

Win, win, I think!!!

Enjoy!!

Slowly slowly fill the pantry..

Do you ever get an urge to clear out and start again?

This is how I get every few months. I get slack with things and then need a jump start.

At the moment it's my kitchen appliances.

I REALLY need would like a stand mixer at the moment. I have a small hand mixer, but a lot of the recipes I would like to make more often are made a lot easier by having one. 

So I do my usual, I begin researching, and trawling Amazon and Ebay to find just the one I want. 

I have no means to buy one yet, that's the problem.

I have a list on my refrigerator of all the things that I would slowly like to add or replace in my kitchen, and it's just not happening quickly enough for me!

My list includes (but is not limited to...)

• The aforementioned Stand Mixer
• A Grain Mill
• A Dehydrator
• A Slow cooker
• 2 more Cast Iron Frying Pans
• A Pizza Stone
• and a new collander!

I know it's a small thing, and I know that Jesus is teaching me patience at the moment, but today, I am not being a very good student. 

I am very blessed to have a working kitchen, I know this, and I know I need to wait and add slowly, I'm just feeling impatient today.

Is there anything that you are waiting somewhat patiently for? 

Wait with me, and we can wait in joy together. 

From tomorrow morning.......

Back on the real food wagon, please!!!

WHY is it so hard to go back to good wholesome eating after Christmas???

Is anyone else struggling with this?

We had a really steady Christmas period, only the odd one or two nights where we binged a little, but now..... I can't seem to get my sugar cravings back under control!!!

The sugar monster is well and truly back, and I am actually regretting ever putting the sweet poison back on my lips, because now I CAN'T CONTROL IT!!!!!

I am in need of a detox once more.

Nooooooo!!!!!!!!!!

One big benefit though, is that we have been continuing to eat healthy real food dinners. We have begun our Raw Milk journey (so much more tasty and healthy than store bought milk), and we have added a few new favorites to our staple meal lists (Taco soup, anyone??!)

So it is only a blip, that I need to get under control, rather than a serious detour back into the land of processed food.

I have seriously noticed the difference though. 

We all feel so much more lethargic, our skin has got worse, we are sleepy after a binge, and our appetites are getting bigger!!! AARRRGGGGHHHH!!

And as with all good changes, we are going to start on MONDAY!! Hahaha.

I am not looking forward to the headaches, and the crankiness, but next time I'm tempted to overindulge, I may have to scroll back through to this post and remind myself just what it takes to get back on, and it may just prevent me jumping off!!!

Shop til you drop....off to sleep

So It's the Friday before Christmas. 

I'm not just stating the obvious, I'm letting that sink in!! 

Today is the final shop for us, the Food Shop!!!!!

How do we beat the crowds, I hear you ask. It's mayhem, why leave it so late, you say.

Well, my hubby has developed a secret weapon over the years...... nighttime shopping!!!

We go at 11pm when the store is so much quieter, and we can get all we want, in peace and quiet, without getting pushed or shoved or screamed at, and we can get it home and put away before the children are any wiser at the goodies coming into the house!!!

Now there are downsides to this:

• If you have little ones, it may be hard to get a babysitter at that time of night, if you cannot ask a family member.
• The store usually stocks up at night, so they may be out of a few of the things you want.
• You either have to stay up late, or get up REALLY early, and I struggle with both of those options, so a nap in the afternoon will ensure I stay awake for the lesser of the two evils, late night shopping.

We have decided on a pared down Christmas this year, on the food front. For years, we have gone mad at Christmas, boxes of sweets, gallons of fizzy drinks and alcohol, and tubes of crisps. Not so this year. we are spending our money on good fats (goose fat, butter,) Nuts and seeds, and meat. My Bone broth will make it into almost every meal, and so will our good fats, so that when we do occasionally indulge in sweet things, (like at nan's on boxing day) then our bodies are equipped to handle it from the goodness we have been getting the rest of the time!!

That's my plan, now this sweet tooth junkie just needs to stick to it.

I figure, if I don't buy it, I can't eat it........right??........

Oh My, Oh My!!

Wow!! It's been a while since I have blogged!!!

Life has gotten in the way, and the first thing to go was the diary entries, I'm afraid.

So what have we been up to?

Well, we've had a week in the middle of nowhere in Scotland, we have been training with our Murphy, who is now 9 months old and bigger than his mama (!!) and we have been considering our diet, as DH has been diagnosed with Diabetes!

This has prompted us to take that last step to eliminate all the processed food left in our diet, apart from the odd treat on a Saturday night!!

• We are investigating the benefits of Raw Milk, and providers we can have access to where we are, ready for the new year.
• We have cut out the sweet treats, after looking at damaging effects of refined sugar , A staple in my diet, and realizing I am HIGHLY addicted to it.
• We have begun eating a lot more butter, live yogurt and animal fat.
• I have made my first batch of lacto-fermented-sauerkraut and it tastes delicious!!! (DH is getting used to the taste...)

So all that on top of Homeschooling all 4 children now, with the challenges that Little Bud presents, and getting ready for....um, what was it,....oh yeah CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (my favourite time of year!!) 

Phew!!!

I will try to be more forthcoming!!

Here is the beautiful view from our holiday cottage just to be going on with...

Time flies

I finally sit down to share my month with you!!!

Well, it's been eventful! 

A family wedding, a family engagement, home schooling, a new prayer triplet,and to top it all off, DH has been diagnosed with type 2 Diabetes and High cholesterol!!!

We are not too worried about this, as we have made some big changes to our diet over the last year, but DH drinks nothing but Cola, and snacks very badly, so changes still need to be made.

I also had the pleasure of sharing a Word with our church this past weekend, and although i haven't done it in a while, and although the enemy tried his hardest to distract with a car crash outside the church (!!!) I felt my Abba with me and was able to share how God's grace is His strength to do what he asks us to do. 

I have also been reading more Francine Rivers and have been very touched by it. I was lent Leota's Garden and found, for the first time, the joy others find in creating and nurturing a flower garden. It always seemed like a lot of work for not much reward to me, but as I saw it through Leota and Annie's eyes, I began to see God in every action, in every job. 

I have yet to tell my DH, but I would like to learn how to tend a garden and enjoy it's beauty. My mum is a great gardener, and works on her garden every year. 

I may just have to pick her brains.....

Who said the Christian life was boring???!

Life gets so busy sometimes.

Now that we have officially adopted Little Bud, he has begun his homeschooling adventure with the big kids at The School in the Back Room!!

He has taken to it so well. He loves it and asks to start if I take "too long" in my quiet time in a morning!!!

We have had his celebration hearing at the courthouse, where he shook the hands of all the attendees like he was an grown man!! (He's 7 next week!) 

We also baptized our eldest son, our second born, Haribo this past weekend!! He was radiant as he came out of the water and was richly blessed with cards and words of encouragement.

It made both Hubby and I think back on our own journey with Jesus. we would never have pictured then, 6 and 5 years ago respectively, when we were baptized, just how far the Lord would take us, and the adventure it would be. 

I am so thankful that I have Jesus in my life, making the difference. 

May I always ask "what can I do for You today Abba?"

We will NEVER forget...

As I sit here with Haribo, catching up on our programs while daddy is at work, as we settle in to watch the 9/11 documentaries that we taped, I am humbled.

I am humbled by the stories from so many who risked their own lives, who lost their loved ones and continued to search for other survivors, who saved lives.

I thank God for those willing to help. 

I thank God for the Brave.

The survivors will never forget.

Neither will we.

My week got better

So I have been home schooling all 4 children for 1 full week and they are still alive and breathing!!!!! (you laugh, it was a close one!)

Actually, despite the stresses and strains of settling back into the school routine, the loss of our local weekly Home Ed group, and teaching a very particular boy the ropes, we have had a good week.

Learning how to teach a new child is hard. All my babies learn differently, and obviously have different needs, and Little bud in particular has very specific strengths and weaknesses, so it has been an eye-opening week. 

I know we can do this, despite my near atomic breakdown yesterday, sobbing to Jesus that I can't do it, that I'm not patient enough, and  all the 'not enough's' I could come up with. The scripture that got me off my sopping wet pillow was "i can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me" Phil. 4:13 

When Abba asked me to home school our children, He gave me the scripture 2 Corinthians 12:9, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness" 

It is this that I cling to now, when I feel overwhelmed. My Father told me to do this, and he would strengthen me. I trust in Him and Him alone. I have to, or every day would be spent sobbing on my pillow!!

I am a new creation, and my Abba loves me, and believes in me. 

That's all I need. 

And some coffee......

Different.......but not

The first day as Little Bud Gee........ and he has been a little toe-rag!!!!

You know how it is, right? Temper, tiredness, and rules! Not always a good mix.

Anyway....

We were visiting with some friends today and on the way there (a very long walk) we got to talking. My 11 yr old, Smudge, was saying how much his feet were hurting. This turned into a full blown conversation on how amazing our bodies are and how God made us.

I love that we get to bring God into our every day life, and it made me realize that even though I sometimes doubt, I am making a difference. I am making a difference right where I am, to 4 future grown ups, who will go on to influence their worlds. 

Being a mama is the best job in the world. 

Please Jesus, help me get it right......

It's Official!!!!!

It's finally happened!! 

Little Bud is legally ours. 

This morning, the judge granted the adoption order to make the child of my heart into a legal member of our family. 

3.5 long years in the making, to say we are pleased is a GIANT understatement!! 

We have full parental rights, and he is ours as if he was born to us.

Life can be planned and lived properly for the first time in years. 

Praise my Abba in heaven for blessing us and entrusting us with this little boy.

We take very seriously our responsibility to train this child in the way of the Lord. 

Thank you Jesus!!!

He's ours!!!!!

:-)

D day (or A day to be exact)

Tomorrow is the big day. 

Tomorrow is the day our family of 5 officially grows to 6. 

The Judge will approve tomorrow what we have known in our hearts for 3 1/2 years; that Little Bud belongs to us. 

It has been a long drawn out process, with many twists and turns, with many frustrations and setbacks, but we are finally there. 

When we first realized that we wanted to keep this little broken foster child that we had waited and waited for, we thought that it would only be a short time, as God had given him to us, right?! 

WRONG!! 

This has been one of our biggest blessings, but it has also been one of our biggest challenges in waiting. In believing. In persisting. In growing. In waiting, again. 

But every bit of it is worth it, as we wait one more day to receive what Abba Father gave us 3 yrs ago. 

The honor of being this amazingly resilient little boy's family.

Breathe through it....

I knew it would end like this!

I have been fighting with my sewing machine for a good 2 hrs today!

I agreed to alter a skirt for a friend, and I haven't used a sewing machine for years, but I thought it's like riding a bike, you never forget....

Cue 2 hrs of repeatedly trying to get the needle to pick up thread!! 

I have been working with the Lord recently about having and keeping my peace in all situations. So, of course, I need to go through some situations where I have cause to lose my peace!

I'm keeping calm with the children for the most part, so today, it's the sewing machine. 

Actually, I prayed through the whole thing, and when I knew I was about to get cross, I walked away and decided to do it by hand.

It took a little longer, but it saved my patio door, and my peace.

Looks like Abba is helping me in more ways than one at the moment!

School time approaches...

School thoughts are now creeping in to summer.....

Ordering supplies, organizing curriculum, cleaning the room/chairs/table down.

Boo is asking me every day why on earth we are starting to think about school with 3 weeks left before we start back! I keep telling her, this is what mamas have to do! They have to think ahead and get organized. Otherwise the curriculum wouldn't be here on time. There would be no pencils when you reach for one. 

The other thing she doesn't realize is that I am the sort of mama who, if I don't do it now, as I think about it, I will forget and it won't get done at all!

I am a list mama. I need to write it down and have a plan. I absolutely don't always get everything done, but at least it's on the list. 

We have a family calendar with 6 columns on and I always, ALWAYS tell the children and my dear husband that if it's not on the calendar, we are not doing it. If you make an appointment, it goes on the calendar, even if it's just a coffee. DH's work shifts are all on there for the year, all birthdays, all kids activities, everything. 

I need it writing down, to make sure it doesn't get forgotten. That way, I don't get double booked and have to let people down, (which I hate) and I am not late (which I hate more!) 

That's how I have figured I work best (after years of frustration and trial and error) and like I said, that doesn't mean mistakes don't happen, or everything gets done (my kitchen floor is being ignored at the moment) but those are few and far between now. 

How do you manage your house? Are you a list-er, or are you a little more carefree?
Leave a comment below, I'd love to hear from you.

Marriage Time......

No kids!!!!

Yesterday, hubby and I had the WHOLE day to ourselves!!!! 

I know!!!! 

A close friend of ours took the children out to the beach and the cinema for the day, and Papa and I were left wondering what to do with our time!!!

We decided to go out for a quiet lunch, to a pizza restaurant, and had some chilling time at home. We could eat when we wanted, we could go out if we wanted, it was lovely!!!!

However, when the children still weren't back at 8pm, I was starting to miss them! 

I love having my hubby to myself, and I love the break from the constant calls of "Mum, tell him!!" "mum, can I...." "MUUUUUUUMMMMMM"
but.....
I wouldn't trade them for the world!

I love my loony, crazy, irritating, amazing, beautiful children, and are glad when they all come home again!!!

Pondering....

I was talking to a lady at the bus stop a couple of days ago, as you do, and she was making a joke about being allergic to children.

She said she didn't like her own kids when they were young, so she was definitely allergic to mine!!

She was trying to be funny, but it really struck me in a sad way. 

That used to be me! 

I hated school holidays, when it meant I had to be home all day with my children. I hated having to find things to occupy them all day long for those long summer months, and would be close to throwing a party when term time appeared on the horizon once more!!

How things have changed. 

It made me so thankful for the revelation that my children are a gift from God. That they are here, and mine to take care of, for such a short period of time. That, although I have bad days, they are to be cherished and appreciated for just being children. For having their own personalities, and quirks. 
Some of our favourite phrases as a family are coined from what the children have said. It is unique. They are unique.

So I am most definitely NOT allergic to children, I love them. And that lady doesn't know what she's missing out on.....

Static movement

Can one move forward while standing still?

I have been pondering this question for a long time now. 

Let me explain...

Before I met my Savior, I was a singer. I still am, but my definition of myself was Kim the singer. It's what I did, but it was also very much who I was. It gave me my worth. If I didn't sing, I was nothing. I have been accepted, loved and defined by it my entire life. My mum loved that I was a singer. My whole identity was wrapped up in it.

Then I met Jesus.

From that point on, I was to be defined by what HE says I am. So In His mercy and wisdom, He has stripped me, over the last 6 years of any public singing at all. This coincided with the change of priorities from singing, and my career, to where it rightfully should be, my family. 
I was raised by a very independent, strong female, who always encouraged me to work, to drive, to go after what I wanted. 

Except I'm not a driven person. I'm not someone who has the desire to be that kind of successful. As my mother doesn't know Jesus, she doesn't understand this. So I felt like I was just.....wrong. I wasn't, am not, what my mum is. I'm different. I love my mother, she has been such a support to me through out my life, I'm just different. 

So, day to day life has changed so much for me and at one point a few weeks ago,I felt like I was standing still. We have been waiting for the Adoption of Little Bud to come through, there have been some relationship changes recently that have happened despite my best efforts, we have lost the car, so have limited mobility, and I said to my good friend, I have felt like I am standing in the middle of a storm and everything I know is flying around me, with me stood still in the middle!!!

But I have come to realise, that although I feel like I haven't prayed enough, that I haven't leaned enough on the Lord and probably... well, definitely have tried to deal with things in my own strength too much, I have grown.

I hear my Lord speak clearly, even when I haven't sat with Him in a week. I see His hand in my life, even when I don't understand it. I have had to come to the decision that He knows best and He knows me best. I don't get me sometimes. I'm with the Apostle Paul, when he says "the good that I will to do, I do not do, but the evil I will not to do, that I practice!!!!" Romans 7:19

But I'm also with him when he says "who can save me? I thank God - through Jesus Christ. 
He is the savior, not me. I will trust in him. 

So can you move forward while standing still? Yeah, I'm pretty sure you can, with Jesus.

Summer is here!!!

Summer is here!! School is out!!

It's always hard having 1 child at school, with the others homeschooled, but I love it now, when summer comes, as I have all my babies in one place!!!

Little Bud is currently at school, because he has been staying with us and couldn't be home schooled for legal reasons, but now, as it is the summer holidays, the fun begins!!!!

So no more early mornings, dragging him out of bed, no more cutting a day short to go pick him up, and best of all, NO MORE PACKED LUNCHES!!!! Well, not unless its for all of us.....

I have been lacking motivation lately, as I mentioned in the last post, so as we have a full house and no more school to worry about, I feel a summer clean coming on. DH goes back to work tomorrow :( but it means I'm probably a bit more inclined to get stuff done, so we shall see....

The summer days stretch ahead, so what are your plans for these lazy days? Learning? Beach? Road trip? Holiday?