The True Way to Go

Today I attended my first Christian funeral.

I am blessed in my life to not have lost many people close to me and have only attended probably 3 funerals in my life. All of these, though, were before I became a Christian, and were very sad, down affairs, completely devoid of hope. 

A dear friend of mine lost her husband a couple of weeks ago, after a long battle with a myriad of health problems. He was in constant, excruciating pain, and had to have round the clock care, in the end. BUT.... He loved Jesus, and his faith was evident all the way through. He was a calm patient man, and never asked why him, never doubted God's love for him. He and his wife have been such a witness of what faith in God looks like.

His funeral was today, and I have never seen our tiny church so full, of friends, family, church members, doctors, so many people who loved him, and were touched by his life. 

It was sad, especially for his close family, most of whom don't know Jesus. 

However....

I have never been to such a joyous funeral in my life!! His life was celebrated, his faith was celebrated, but most of all, his God was celebrated. A few tears were shed, but mostly there were smiles, stories and songs of Jesus.

I want my funeral to be just like it. 

Help me finish strong Lord.

RIP Mike. Enjoy your mansion, and see you again soon. x 

Tea and Sympathy

I've been visiting a friend this morning.

This friend is an elderly lady, who lives on her own, and is wheelchair bound.

This friend is a particularly difficult lady to get on with. 

This friend drains me when I visit.

This friend is a great blessing to me despite all of the above.

I have been visiting her for about 3 months now, and God really had to move me strongly to be willing. He nudged me probably as much as 10 months ago, but because this lady is very harsh and abrupt, and I have never been very good at holding my tongue, I though God had the wrong person at first. 

And I told Him so.

I had every excuse, I didn't have a car, I would not be able to keep my mouth shut, I would make things worse. I told God all of this, but you know what, He wanted me to go anyway.

So I arranged with another friend to take and collect me and I bit the bullet. 

I could not believe the compassion I felt for this lady. 

When everyone, including her own family had been driven away by her tongue and her mean attitudes, God gave me a great pity for the broken lady inside all that hate. 

She is someone who never has a good word to say about anything, or anyone, and this can be very draining, in the natural world, on my mood, but there is always a flash, usually near the end of the visit, of a very lonely, very hurt lady, and she has flashes of sweetness that make me think God knew what He was doing in giving me a burden for her. 

I can not imagine not being able to take care of myself and having to allow strangers into my home to clean and take care of me. This is a proud lady who has done great things for God in her life, but seems to have taken against everyone and everything in frustration. 

I pray that God will allow me to love her in practical ways, as He loves me, and that she will see that Jesus loves her, despite her rough exterior, and wants to heal her hurts, if she will give them to Him. 

I pray that every one of will realise that. 

Show us more of Your glorious Love, Abba. 

Patience is a Virtue

I have been struggling lately.

Struggling to slow down and release my expectations and standards.

Our Little Bud is the one I'm struggling with.

Of our 4 children, he is the one I am most challenged by. He doesn't see the world as we do. He is showing a lot of signs of being on the Autistic spectrum, erring more toward the Asperger's side.

As he was our foster child first, we have notice a lot of changes since he first came to live with us, and were always told that Looked After Children display signs of Autism as part of their attachment issues.

As any mam knows though, a mama knows her child, and with the last psychological assessment telling us he had a secure attachment, this just doesn't ring true. Little Bud has been with us almost 4 years now, and home educated for 4 months, and it is this close-up, 24 hr living that has brought it to the forefront.

It's hard to remember all this when trying to patiently think of an alternative way to explain a feeling that is obvious to everyone else, but he misses completely. Or trying to coax an ending out of a boy who does not know how to create, only copy. 

Part of me wants a diagnosis, but I fear it would just be for my own justification. There is nothing they can do for him, and I have support at church, and he doesn't need another label on him. 

He's perfect just the way he is, even if he does try my last nerve.....

Slowly slowly fill the pantry..

Do you ever get an urge to clear out and start again?

This is how I get every few months. I get slack with things and then need a jump start.

At the moment it's my kitchen appliances.

I REALLY need would like a stand mixer at the moment. I have a small hand mixer, but a lot of the recipes I would like to make more often are made a lot easier by having one. 

So I do my usual, I begin researching, and trawling Amazon and Ebay to find just the one I want. 

I have no means to buy one yet, that's the problem.

I have a list on my refrigerator of all the things that I would slowly like to add or replace in my kitchen, and it's just not happening quickly enough for me!

My list includes (but is not limited to...)

• The aforementioned Stand Mixer
• A Grain Mill
• A Dehydrator
• A Slow cooker
• 2 more Cast Iron Frying Pans
• A Pizza Stone
• and a new collander!

I know it's a small thing, and I know that Jesus is teaching me patience at the moment, but today, I am not being a very good student. 

I am very blessed to have a working kitchen, I know this, and I know I need to wait and add slowly, I'm just feeling impatient today.

Is there anything that you are waiting somewhat patiently for? 

Wait with me, and we can wait in joy together. 

From tomorrow morning.......

What's a girl to do?

So the new year is almost upon us, and it's that time again, where we take stock of the past, and make plans for the year ahead.

So I ask you, how have you grown in the last year, and what are your goals for next year?

In the interest of fairness, I'm going to share my thoughts. (if that's ok)

Taking stock of the last year, I can see that I have grown in Grace towards others, and am much more likely to give people the benefit of the doubt than I ever would have. I KNOW this is because my Abba Father has had many occasion to give me the benefit of the doubt over the last year!!!!

I have grown to trust Abba more, through a series of events, and fulfilled promises, after a long wait and many toddler tantrums on my behalf!! (See what I mean about Him being gracious!?)

I have learnt new things about my husband and children, and I have made new friends and had to say goodbye to a few too. Letting go is something I have found hard, but God has smoothed the way when I have given my expectations to Him.

I can honestly say that, although I still have a LONG way to go, through God's grace and patience, I feel that I am a better person now than last year.

So looking forward, my goals are to continue to learn how to feed my family healthy, nutritious meals, to continue to learn about my husband, and the wife he needs and deserves, to try to model to my children a real life with Christ, not a religion, but a relationship and the ups and downs and mistakes and forgiveness that entails.

I want to get more active, (but I say that every year), and I want to read more books, (I say that every year too, but I usually do this one!!) and I want to believe that this year will be another year that the Lord adds more children to our family.

But most of all, my goal is to draw closer to my Abba, because apart from Him, I can do nothing. Without Him, I will be the same next year as this. Without Him, I will be alone. Without Him, I AM nothing.

Praise You Yeshua, my Saviour King. 

And then it was all over......

How crazy we all get for just a few days a year!!

I hope and pray that your Christmas was a blessed one, but it always amazes me how much pressure we put ourselves under at this time of year!!

I'm thinking about this because I took our trimmings down today. 

For me, Christmas is done on my birthday, which is 27th, and since I don't want to do a lot on my birthday, they usually come down the day after. I was sick yesterday, so I have made the effort after church today to take them all down and get cleaned up in the house. 

As I look around my bare room now, it makes me think of all the fuss that goes into Christmas.

I'm not talking about being prepared, I'm talking of the stress over things being just so for the in-laws, or making sure we have enough this or just the right that! 

I like to spend Christmas just us in our home, after many of my younger years were spent working, but Boxing day is usually our time for visiting with family. This year, we were the guests at my mum's. We usually host her, but with DH work commitments, she invited us to her house, and we had a lovely time. I am very lucky to have a relaxed family, with no formalities or rigid traditions to govern me, and it was a relaxed, lovely time. 

On Christmas day itself, we spent time in the morning thanking Jesus for all the generosity we had been shown with all the gifts we had received and Christmas dinner was ready when it was ready!! 

We had a lovely quiet family day, and there was no stress, just the peace and joy of time spent together and with the Lord. 

As Christmas should be.

I am truly blessed. 

We will NEVER forget...

As I sit here with Haribo, catching up on our programs while daddy is at work, as we settle in to watch the 9/11 documentaries that we taped, I am humbled.

I am humbled by the stories from so many who risked their own lives, who lost their loved ones and continued to search for other survivors, who saved lives.

I thank God for those willing to help. 

I thank God for the Brave.

The survivors will never forget.

Neither will we.