Connect and Respect

Here in England, there was a new show that started last night, called 'Man Up!' 

It has been the cause of quite a few conversations in our house as we have see the promotional run up. (It has been on every ad break while we watch NCIS for about 3 weeks!!!) 

The premise of the show is the stunningly gorgeous presenter takes geeky, nerdy, live at home failures of men, and teaches them to be men. 

That's it.

 They are waxed, redressed, made over, taught how to talk to girls, put through obstacle courses and generally humiliated until she is satisfied they can hack it on their own.

Then they are deemed fit for a modern woman. 

My GOODNESS!!!!!

The first thing she says is "nowadays men are more and more unsure of where they belong-"

The thing that has sparked the conversation is that nowhere is it mentioned that the women are in the wrong. 

Nowhere does it say that women need to encourage their men, to include them more in their lives, to RESPECT them!!

When you look around today, men are ridiculed everywhere. Just look at any kids tv show and the dads are always bumbling idiots who need the mums to pick up the pieces of their failed attempts, which she does with a roll of the eyes and a sigh, as if she expected it all along. (we don't allow our kids to watch programs like that)

Some of the attitudes in the media leave a lot to be desired towards me, and the things that are let go amaze me, because if they were said or shown about women, there would be UPROAR!!!! 
The way men are oggled on TV by women hosts, if that were men making those lewd comments, it would be condemned in an instant as sexist and unacceptable.

Men have the raw end of the deal nowadays, when you look at things like social media. Most of the people I see deify their children and run down their 'useless' partner/husband. 

How about we talk about the good in our husbands, just in case it might inspire them to be better!

Would you want to change if nothing you ever did was good enough? If you were made to feel that you weren't really needed, and everything would go on just fine without you? 

Would it inspire you to go work hard to bring in the finances? would it make you want to help out in the kitchen, or with the kids? 

I don't think so. It would make you give up. And that is just what so many men have done.

Nothing is good enough, so why bother. 

Yet....

If I tell my husband how proud I am of him that he goes to work and earns a living so that we can homeschool our children, that I am proud of him that he gets up at 4 am to go shopping before work, so we have stuff in for breakfast, that I love the way he plays with our children, and prays at the dinner table with us all. If I tell him he is capable, and important to us all, then maybe he will be encouraged to be the man he is, rather than telling him what he's not! 

We all know how well children respond to praise, but are we adults any different? Are our men any different? Respect is a characteristic sadly missing in our time, and if we Christian women can't manage it with our hubbys then who can?

But you don't know what I have to deal with! I hear you cry.

I'm not saying it is always easy, and there are times when we need to address issues, I'm not denying that. But would you want to listen and truly take a good look at yourself if it was another in a long list of faults your loved one thinks you have??? (no matter how true it may be)

When we speak to our men with respect, and encourage them, they are more likely to listen to genuine concerns when they come up, because they know it is not just another nag, to be frank! And as an ex nagger, I have lived this change. I know it works. From experience. 

Are we perfect? Nope! Is it easy to keep my mouth shut sometimes and praise him? Nope! Are there days when I want to tell him he's wrong in front of the kids? YES!! but I won't. Because I want my children to respect their father, and they learn that from me. If I don't respect him, why should they? I have sadly seen this in a family quite close to us, and it is offensive to witness! 

I know this has been a bit of a long post today, but it's been on my mind for weeks. It's also been a great way of connecting to my husband, as we have talked about this, and how it will affect our children, and what we can do to teach them and to demonstrate God's way to them through our marriage.

I chose to marry my husband, and he is a reflection of my choices in life. 

I can now truly say, that I am happy with my choices and will choose to be happy for the rest of my life, with God's grace.

What's a girl to do?

So the new year is almost upon us, and it's that time again, where we take stock of the past, and make plans for the year ahead.

So I ask you, how have you grown in the last year, and what are your goals for next year?

In the interest of fairness, I'm going to share my thoughts. (if that's ok)

Taking stock of the last year, I can see that I have grown in Grace towards others, and am much more likely to give people the benefit of the doubt than I ever would have. I KNOW this is because my Abba Father has had many occasion to give me the benefit of the doubt over the last year!!!!

I have grown to trust Abba more, through a series of events, and fulfilled promises, after a long wait and many toddler tantrums on my behalf!! (See what I mean about Him being gracious!?)

I have learnt new things about my husband and children, and I have made new friends and had to say goodbye to a few too. Letting go is something I have found hard, but God has smoothed the way when I have given my expectations to Him.

I can honestly say that, although I still have a LONG way to go, through God's grace and patience, I feel that I am a better person now than last year.

So looking forward, my goals are to continue to learn how to feed my family healthy, nutritious meals, to continue to learn about my husband, and the wife he needs and deserves, to try to model to my children a real life with Christ, not a religion, but a relationship and the ups and downs and mistakes and forgiveness that entails.

I want to get more active, (but I say that every year), and I want to read more books, (I say that every year too, but I usually do this one!!) and I want to believe that this year will be another year that the Lord adds more children to our family.

But most of all, my goal is to draw closer to my Abba, because apart from Him, I can do nothing. Without Him, I will be the same next year as this. Without Him, I will be alone. Without Him, I AM nothing.

Praise You Yeshua, my Saviour King. 

Marriage Time......

No kids!!!!

Yesterday, hubby and I had the WHOLE day to ourselves!!!! 

I know!!!! 

A close friend of ours took the children out to the beach and the cinema for the day, and Papa and I were left wondering what to do with our time!!!

We decided to go out for a quiet lunch, to a pizza restaurant, and had some chilling time at home. We could eat when we wanted, we could go out if we wanted, it was lovely!!!!

However, when the children still weren't back at 8pm, I was starting to miss them! 

I love having my hubby to myself, and I love the break from the constant calls of "Mum, tell him!!" "mum, can I...." "MUUUUUUUMMMMMM"
but.....
I wouldn't trade them for the world!

I love my loony, crazy, irritating, amazing, beautiful children, and are glad when they all come home again!!!

Warmer places

I am currently sat with a tab open on a villa in Gran Canaria. 

After booking a holiday to Scotland in the middle of NOVEMBER (my idea of a wistful winter retreat), we are looking at warmer climates for next year, for our first family holiday abroad.

I am naturally a very fair skinned blonde, so sun doesn't usually appeal to me, but with the gray cloud cover AGAIN her in sunny England, I am feeling a serious need for the prospect of some sun. 

My sweetheart's fave holiday destination is Gran Canaria and we have never been abroad together in 14 yrs of marriage, so I feel it's time. 



Having never been on holiday when I'm paying, and having a family of 6 to plan for, the prices are a little gulp worthy, but I think it's time to take a deep breath, and save hard. 

My sweetheart deserves it. 

He works hard for us, and deserves a rest. 

And the sun would do me no harm whatsoever!!! (As long as I bulk buy sunscreen and floppy hats!!)

Planning is good. Doing is better. Let's go!!!

My Grace is Enough...

So I was talking yesterday about how I was re-thinking school in the Gee house, and I thought I would tell you how we came to take our children out of main stream school and educate them at home.

It was 2 years ago this August, when my eldest girl, Boo, was about to go up to secondary school. We had been watching a US program (I am an American who happened to be trapped in an English born body!!) about a very LARGE family and it mesmerized me. How this Christian family managed to be nice to one another, to help one another AND to be home-schooled had me floored, especially as, at the time, I hated the summer hols as the kids drove me CRAZY! (My Abba Father has done such a work in me!!)

As Boo was headed up to "big" school, I was really concerned at just what they would teach my daughter, as Evolution is taught as fact in UK schools. It was when watching the Big family program that I felt I heard the Lord clearly tell me "that's what I want of you". So began a Moses type dialogue that went something like this...
" Are you kidding, Abba??" 
"Not at all, my darling, I want you to teach your children about me"
"Abba, I go crazy being with them for a half term, let alone full time!!"
"I know, but I can change that"
"I can't do it, Abba!!"
"Then take a look at 2 Corinthians 12:9"

As I looked at that scripture, I found that God wasn't asking me to do it alone, and that he would use my weaknesses to show his Glory through me!

Well, I was learning all about submission, so I approached my sweetheart about it and, as I am a bit of an ideas girl, with little fruition, he was not overly keen at first. As I showed him the curriculum I had found, he warmed up, seeing I really was serious about it, but would only agree to the boys being schooled, as Boo wants to be a doctor, and the curriculum at this point didn't go that far, so I left it with the Lord, if He had said it, then He would have to work on my sweetie's heart to do it. 

So, January 2012, our 2 boys began our home-ed adventure!!!!

It was only a few months later, due to some horrid incidences at school, Boo joined her brothers at Easter. Our youngest has stayed on at school for a while longer.

We have been at this homeschooling lark for 18 months now, and I can categorically say that God has shown himself strong in my weaknesses, that I LOVE being with my kids and that it is the best decision we made as a family, for our family, and although there are bad days, crazy days, days when I want to go lay on my bed, read a good book and ignore the "MUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMM" shouts coming from the table, I love homeschooling my precious gifts from the Lord!!!!

How about you? Is homeschooling something you have considered or have you known all along??? Leave a comment below.

Appreciating Your Honey

When was the last time you told your spouse how much you appreciate them? 
Do you make a habit of saying "please" and "thank you" to them, or do you just expect them to do what they do?

I really want to encourage you today to say thank you to them for what they do, whether it is going to work to earn the family income, or whether they stay at home and take care of the children and house. 
Does your hubby run you a bath without asking? Tell him how much it means to you. 
Does your wife make the best pancakes ever?! Tell her they are your favorite. 

There is always something to be thankful for, and I know sometimes you need to be grateful on purpose, but how much better will you both feel! 

Try it, it's worth it.