Connect and Respect

Here in England, there was a new show that started last night, called 'Man Up!' 

It has been the cause of quite a few conversations in our house as we have see the promotional run up. (It has been on every ad break while we watch NCIS for about 3 weeks!!!) 

The premise of the show is the stunningly gorgeous presenter takes geeky, nerdy, live at home failures of men, and teaches them to be men. 

That's it.

 They are waxed, redressed, made over, taught how to talk to girls, put through obstacle courses and generally humiliated until she is satisfied they can hack it on their own.

Then they are deemed fit for a modern woman. 

My GOODNESS!!!!!

The first thing she says is "nowadays men are more and more unsure of where they belong-"

The thing that has sparked the conversation is that nowhere is it mentioned that the women are in the wrong. 

Nowhere does it say that women need to encourage their men, to include them more in their lives, to RESPECT them!!

When you look around today, men are ridiculed everywhere. Just look at any kids tv show and the dads are always bumbling idiots who need the mums to pick up the pieces of their failed attempts, which she does with a roll of the eyes and a sigh, as if she expected it all along. (we don't allow our kids to watch programs like that)

Some of the attitudes in the media leave a lot to be desired towards me, and the things that are let go amaze me, because if they were said or shown about women, there would be UPROAR!!!! 
The way men are oggled on TV by women hosts, if that were men making those lewd comments, it would be condemned in an instant as sexist and unacceptable.

Men have the raw end of the deal nowadays, when you look at things like social media. Most of the people I see deify their children and run down their 'useless' partner/husband. 

How about we talk about the good in our husbands, just in case it might inspire them to be better!

Would you want to change if nothing you ever did was good enough? If you were made to feel that you weren't really needed, and everything would go on just fine without you? 

Would it inspire you to go work hard to bring in the finances? would it make you want to help out in the kitchen, or with the kids? 

I don't think so. It would make you give up. And that is just what so many men have done.

Nothing is good enough, so why bother. 

Yet....

If I tell my husband how proud I am of him that he goes to work and earns a living so that we can homeschool our children, that I am proud of him that he gets up at 4 am to go shopping before work, so we have stuff in for breakfast, that I love the way he plays with our children, and prays at the dinner table with us all. If I tell him he is capable, and important to us all, then maybe he will be encouraged to be the man he is, rather than telling him what he's not! 

We all know how well children respond to praise, but are we adults any different? Are our men any different? Respect is a characteristic sadly missing in our time, and if we Christian women can't manage it with our hubbys then who can?

But you don't know what I have to deal with! I hear you cry.

I'm not saying it is always easy, and there are times when we need to address issues, I'm not denying that. But would you want to listen and truly take a good look at yourself if it was another in a long list of faults your loved one thinks you have??? (no matter how true it may be)

When we speak to our men with respect, and encourage them, they are more likely to listen to genuine concerns when they come up, because they know it is not just another nag, to be frank! And as an ex nagger, I have lived this change. I know it works. From experience. 

Are we perfect? Nope! Is it easy to keep my mouth shut sometimes and praise him? Nope! Are there days when I want to tell him he's wrong in front of the kids? YES!! but I won't. Because I want my children to respect their father, and they learn that from me. If I don't respect him, why should they? I have sadly seen this in a family quite close to us, and it is offensive to witness! 

I know this has been a bit of a long post today, but it's been on my mind for weeks. It's also been a great way of connecting to my husband, as we have talked about this, and how it will affect our children, and what we can do to teach them and to demonstrate God's way to them through our marriage.

I chose to marry my husband, and he is a reflection of my choices in life. 

I can now truly say, that I am happy with my choices and will choose to be happy for the rest of my life, with God's grace.

Homemaker's Binder

I was updating my homemaker's binder last week, after seeing some inspiration on another blogger's site, and I though I would share with you what I have been up to. 

I was never the sort of woman who would have needed a binder, I just wasn't that organized, and my family scoffed at me when I first made it up. We all use it now,however, and especially for me, it has become a source of great joy and comfort. 

"What is she talking about?" you may be asking.

This is what I am talking about: my Homemakers Binder :)

Not the flashiest thing in the world, but full of a wealth of information about our family. 

I just grabbed the nearest binder I had, and put it together with stuff I had, or downloaded, but I updated it this week to include a few extras.






I start with my Chore chart. I love this from The Confident Mom, i just need some pointers, so I go for the full version, although she also does a blank version, for the Super efficient among us!! (NOT ME) 

This is printed and stored in my binder, and week by week it comes out and is stuck to the fridge. What I like about this is there are clear jobs to do each day, and the kids can come independently and choose a job to do, tick it off, and we are done!









Next, is my new addition of a birthdays page. I am SOOOO bad at remembering birthdays, I have them on my phone, on my main calendar, but I felt I needed a central place where I could see all the birthdays in the month in one place, so I printed this great template from Fun With Mama
and the main birthdays and anniversaries are on here.
(It's also cute, and I love it!)







I have also included a Holiday Gift Tracker, from iheart organizing, which I used for the first time this year, and it worked great! 
All of our Christmas gifts were in one place, and I could keep track on just how much I was spending.(would be great for those with large extended families to buy for.)




Next comes my spare meal planner sheets, which I got from The Project girl. I really find that now we have started to use this, we can't function without it now!
lovely lay out too, with room for notes on soaking and prep, and again, goes on the fridge for all to see, so when I get the usual cry from 4 children, "what's for tea mum?" I can tell them to go and look on the fridge and it will tell them. 
Happy mummy!!







I also added a utilities main page, with account numbers, emergency phone numbers and renewal dates. This has been added, because I have found that, as we do most of our account management online, if the internet goes down, as it has recently, I have no idea what the phone numbers are, nor my account numbers, so one main page is a huge benefit, and DH has already used it!! This is the one we use.

I then have all of my recipes organized into breakfasts, lunches, dinners, soup, dessert, etc. 

So that is what's in mine, but you can make it personal to you, with an Emergency Telephone List, a To Do List, a Monthly cleaning list, a Gardening template or anything else that you feel fits your family.

I love my binder, and all the family know where the main things are. In the binder, in the kitchen, next to the coffee pot!



                  

Search me Oh Lord

It can be a scary thing to look at yourself.

I don't mean in a mirror, (although after Christmas, that's a little scary too!) I mean in a reflective, deep down inside, "what are my motives" kind of way.

It is quite something to realise that you are capable of attitudes and thoughts that you hate! I cant stand it when others begrudge good things happening to someone they know, it's mean and no-one knows what the other goes through.

Plus God has an individual plan for each of us!

But when I was told someone close has good news of something that I am waiting for God to do for us, I hate to admit that all those thoughts ran through my head! 

Well, not begrudging, as such, but unfair thoughts about .... I can hardly say it... but that's supposed to be me!!!

I love the person so very much, and I am happy for them, I truly am. The pain that went through my heart was real, it was strong and my mind, unfiltered, was not very charitable.

And my God does not want me to stay that way.

He has to be the one who deals with my hurt, I can't, the other person cant. 

My Abba knows the plans he has for me.

In times like this, He always takes me back to what I know. Not what I feel, what I KNOW.

I KNOW my God loves me. I KNOW my God never changes. I KNOW He promised us. I KNOW Jesus can be trusted. I KNOW I can take my troubles to Him. He is faithful.

So while my feelings rage, my spirit is quiet, as my Abba has shown me myself. But He hasn't left me there.

Thank You God.