Weekly obsession

I have been running on empty on the music front for a long while now, but a few months ago, I felt led to start up a new worship group at our church.

At first, I didn't want to, because I have had no love of singing for the last 6 months at least. As a singer for my whole life, and a worship leader in church, this is obviously a problem. It was borne out of others' expectations of me, I think, and a bit of burnout ("No" needs to be said in church, just like any other walk of life)

About the same time, I found the most amazing band, who sing without instruments, (a Capella) and they are called Pentatonix. They are 5 american singers, Scott, Mitch, Kirstie, (vocals) Avi (Bass) and Kevin(beatboxer extraordinaire). 

With a background in musical theater, harmonies and intricate vocal arrangements have always caught my attention, and fire me like nothing else, so the songs these guys do, their arrangements and the things they can do with their voices has inspired me, and brought back a love of singing that I thought was lost. 

At the moment, their rendition of "Payphone" by Maroon 5 is on repeat in my head, and has become my weekly obsession!! I am thankful for their music, as I am thinking more creatively. I'm also using my voice more, instead of sitting on it, so no-one uses it for their own gain! (yes, that happens in church too!!)

I just have to thank God that He knows just what to use to inspire in us all exactly what He requires, and that His gifts don't depend on our gratefulness!

Check them out on Youtube. 

Thoughts and feelings

Another week, another way to feel inferior, it seems.

I love looking through other blogs, and I sign up to a lot of great sites on Facebook all about nourishing food, Greener living and Homestead/sustainable living.

I have dreams. 

I have plans.

I have doubts. Doubts about my ability vs. my desire, about my gifts, about whether I can do the things I want to do in life.

Will God bless me with the house I would love when I am rubbish at keeping my present house clean?

Can I look after chickens, when I struggle to find time to walk my dogs every day?

Can I grind flour, soak recipes, grow food, bake bread, teach kids, and bring up more babies, if the Lord so blesses us, all every day, day after day?

In short, AM I EXPECTING TOO MUCH!!???

I read a great post this week, about not crying about what you sign up for. Very inspiring, and I DID sign up for this. I signed up for homeschooling 4 children. I begged my husband to let me cook from scratch and to try to eliminate more of the processed foods from our lives. I also begged him for another puppy, because one wasn't enough!!

I love my life, I really do. I love the life we have chosen. I love spending time with my kids, and I love feeding them nourishing food, lovingly prepared. 

If I want to follow my dreams, can I?

Can I do all these things? Can I learn? Or can I just be patient and wait until Abba Father moves and equips me with the skills I need to do the things HE asks, not what I want. 

Right now, I'm not feeling very patient. But that doesn't mean I can't be. With a little Help from my Father....

Tea and Sympathy

I've been visiting a friend this morning.

This friend is an elderly lady, who lives on her own, and is wheelchair bound.

This friend is a particularly difficult lady to get on with. 

This friend drains me when I visit.

This friend is a great blessing to me despite all of the above.

I have been visiting her for about 3 months now, and God really had to move me strongly to be willing. He nudged me probably as much as 10 months ago, but because this lady is very harsh and abrupt, and I have never been very good at holding my tongue, I though God had the wrong person at first. 

And I told Him so.

I had every excuse, I didn't have a car, I would not be able to keep my mouth shut, I would make things worse. I told God all of this, but you know what, He wanted me to go anyway.

So I arranged with another friend to take and collect me and I bit the bullet. 

I could not believe the compassion I felt for this lady. 

When everyone, including her own family had been driven away by her tongue and her mean attitudes, God gave me a great pity for the broken lady inside all that hate. 

She is someone who never has a good word to say about anything, or anyone, and this can be very draining, in the natural world, on my mood, but there is always a flash, usually near the end of the visit, of a very lonely, very hurt lady, and she has flashes of sweetness that make me think God knew what He was doing in giving me a burden for her. 

I can not imagine not being able to take care of myself and having to allow strangers into my home to clean and take care of me. This is a proud lady who has done great things for God in her life, but seems to have taken against everyone and everything in frustration. 

I pray that God will allow me to love her in practical ways, as He loves me, and that she will see that Jesus loves her, despite her rough exterior, and wants to heal her hurts, if she will give them to Him. 

I pray that every one of will realise that. 

Show us more of Your glorious Love, Abba. 

Back on the real food wagon, please!!!

WHY is it so hard to go back to good wholesome eating after Christmas???

Is anyone else struggling with this?

We had a really steady Christmas period, only the odd one or two nights where we binged a little, but now..... I can't seem to get my sugar cravings back under control!!!

The sugar monster is well and truly back, and I am actually regretting ever putting the sweet poison back on my lips, because now I CAN'T CONTROL IT!!!!!

I am in need of a detox once more.

Nooooooo!!!!!!!!!!

One big benefit though, is that we have been continuing to eat healthy real food dinners. We have begun our Raw Milk journey (so much more tasty and healthy than store bought milk), and we have added a few new favorites to our staple meal lists (Taco soup, anyone??!)

So it is only a blip, that I need to get under control, rather than a serious detour back into the land of processed food.

I have seriously noticed the difference though. 

We all feel so much more lethargic, our skin has got worse, we are sleepy after a binge, and our appetites are getting bigger!!! AARRRGGGGHHHH!!

And as with all good changes, we are going to start on MONDAY!! Hahaha.

I am not looking forward to the headaches, and the crankiness, but next time I'm tempted to overindulge, I may have to scroll back through to this post and remind myself just what it takes to get back on, and it may just prevent me jumping off!!!

Oh My, Oh My!!

Wow!! It's been a while since I have blogged!!!

Life has gotten in the way, and the first thing to go was the diary entries, I'm afraid.

So what have we been up to?

Well, we've had a week in the middle of nowhere in Scotland, we have been training with our Murphy, who is now 9 months old and bigger than his mama (!!) and we have been considering our diet, as DH has been diagnosed with Diabetes!

This has prompted us to take that last step to eliminate all the processed food left in our diet, apart from the odd treat on a Saturday night!!

• We are investigating the benefits of Raw Milk, and providers we can have access to where we are, ready for the new year.
• We have cut out the sweet treats, after looking at damaging effects of refined sugar , A staple in my diet, and realizing I am HIGHLY addicted to it.
• We have begun eating a lot more butter, live yogurt and animal fat.
• I have made my first batch of lacto-fermented-sauerkraut and it tastes delicious!!! (DH is getting used to the taste...)

So all that on top of Homeschooling all 4 children now, with the challenges that Little Bud presents, and getting ready for....um, what was it,....oh yeah CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (my favourite time of year!!) 

Phew!!!

I will try to be more forthcoming!!

Here is the beautiful view from our holiday cottage just to be going on with...

Time flies

I finally sit down to share my month with you!!!

Well, it's been eventful! 

A family wedding, a family engagement, home schooling, a new prayer triplet,and to top it all off, DH has been diagnosed with type 2 Diabetes and High cholesterol!!!

We are not too worried about this, as we have made some big changes to our diet over the last year, but DH drinks nothing but Cola, and snacks very badly, so changes still need to be made.

I also had the pleasure of sharing a Word with our church this past weekend, and although i haven't done it in a while, and although the enemy tried his hardest to distract with a car crash outside the church (!!!) I felt my Abba with me and was able to share how God's grace is His strength to do what he asks us to do. 

I have also been reading more Francine Rivers and have been very touched by it. I was lent Leota's Garden and found, for the first time, the joy others find in creating and nurturing a flower garden. It always seemed like a lot of work for not much reward to me, but as I saw it through Leota and Annie's eyes, I began to see God in every action, in every job. 

I have yet to tell my DH, but I would like to learn how to tend a garden and enjoy it's beauty. My mum is a great gardener, and works on her garden every year. 

I may just have to pick her brains.....

Parenting dilemas

So how do we deal with consistent disobedience?

I am struggling with my beautiful, willful daughter at the moment. 

We have been battling over internet usage, but we always come to the same place. We give a little, trying to build trust, and she gets caught sneaking. 

We have tried taking all privileges away, we have pin-protected all devices that don't belong to her, we have tried allowing some access with parental monitoring, nothing works, she always seems to find a way around it.

I understand that this is a heart issue. 

She is challenging our authority, and is deceived into thinking that she is pulling the wool over our eyes. 

I must admit, as I write this, that I have been praying for the wrong things. I have been praying that I will parent her right, and that she will step into Jesus' plan for her life, when I should have been praying for Jesus to open her heart to His ways and that the Holy Spirit will reveal to her that her heart attitude to this is wrong. (she is born again and baptized)

Godly parenting is such a joy and a privilege, but it is also one of the most challenging, eye opening roles one can have, beaten only by Godly marriage, i think! 

Prayers would be appreciated right now!!