Connect and Respect

Here in England, there was a new show that started last night, called 'Man Up!' 

It has been the cause of quite a few conversations in our house as we have see the promotional run up. (It has been on every ad break while we watch NCIS for about 3 weeks!!!) 

The premise of the show is the stunningly gorgeous presenter takes geeky, nerdy, live at home failures of men, and teaches them to be men. 

That's it.

 They are waxed, redressed, made over, taught how to talk to girls, put through obstacle courses and generally humiliated until she is satisfied they can hack it on their own.

Then they are deemed fit for a modern woman. 

My GOODNESS!!!!!

The first thing she says is "nowadays men are more and more unsure of where they belong-"

The thing that has sparked the conversation is that nowhere is it mentioned that the women are in the wrong. 

Nowhere does it say that women need to encourage their men, to include them more in their lives, to RESPECT them!!

When you look around today, men are ridiculed everywhere. Just look at any kids tv show and the dads are always bumbling idiots who need the mums to pick up the pieces of their failed attempts, which she does with a roll of the eyes and a sigh, as if she expected it all along. (we don't allow our kids to watch programs like that)

Some of the attitudes in the media leave a lot to be desired towards me, and the things that are let go amaze me, because if they were said or shown about women, there would be UPROAR!!!! 
The way men are oggled on TV by women hosts, if that were men making those lewd comments, it would be condemned in an instant as sexist and unacceptable.

Men have the raw end of the deal nowadays, when you look at things like social media. Most of the people I see deify their children and run down their 'useless' partner/husband. 

How about we talk about the good in our husbands, just in case it might inspire them to be better!

Would you want to change if nothing you ever did was good enough? If you were made to feel that you weren't really needed, and everything would go on just fine without you? 

Would it inspire you to go work hard to bring in the finances? would it make you want to help out in the kitchen, or with the kids? 

I don't think so. It would make you give up. And that is just what so many men have done.

Nothing is good enough, so why bother. 

Yet....

If I tell my husband how proud I am of him that he goes to work and earns a living so that we can homeschool our children, that I am proud of him that he gets up at 4 am to go shopping before work, so we have stuff in for breakfast, that I love the way he plays with our children, and prays at the dinner table with us all. If I tell him he is capable, and important to us all, then maybe he will be encouraged to be the man he is, rather than telling him what he's not! 

We all know how well children respond to praise, but are we adults any different? Are our men any different? Respect is a characteristic sadly missing in our time, and if we Christian women can't manage it with our hubbys then who can?

But you don't know what I have to deal with! I hear you cry.

I'm not saying it is always easy, and there are times when we need to address issues, I'm not denying that. But would you want to listen and truly take a good look at yourself if it was another in a long list of faults your loved one thinks you have??? (no matter how true it may be)

When we speak to our men with respect, and encourage them, they are more likely to listen to genuine concerns when they come up, because they know it is not just another nag, to be frank! And as an ex nagger, I have lived this change. I know it works. From experience. 

Are we perfect? Nope! Is it easy to keep my mouth shut sometimes and praise him? Nope! Are there days when I want to tell him he's wrong in front of the kids? YES!! but I won't. Because I want my children to respect their father, and they learn that from me. If I don't respect him, why should they? I have sadly seen this in a family quite close to us, and it is offensive to witness! 

I know this has been a bit of a long post today, but it's been on my mind for weeks. It's also been a great way of connecting to my husband, as we have talked about this, and how it will affect our children, and what we can do to teach them and to demonstrate God's way to them through our marriage.

I chose to marry my husband, and he is a reflection of my choices in life. 

I can now truly say, that I am happy with my choices and will choose to be happy for the rest of my life, with God's grace.