What's a girl to do?

So the new year is almost upon us, and it's that time again, where we take stock of the past, and make plans for the year ahead.

So I ask you, how have you grown in the last year, and what are your goals for next year?

In the interest of fairness, I'm going to share my thoughts. (if that's ok)

Taking stock of the last year, I can see that I have grown in Grace towards others, and am much more likely to give people the benefit of the doubt than I ever would have. I KNOW this is because my Abba Father has had many occasion to give me the benefit of the doubt over the last year!!!!

I have grown to trust Abba more, through a series of events, and fulfilled promises, after a long wait and many toddler tantrums on my behalf!! (See what I mean about Him being gracious!?)

I have learnt new things about my husband and children, and I have made new friends and had to say goodbye to a few too. Letting go is something I have found hard, but God has smoothed the way when I have given my expectations to Him.

I can honestly say that, although I still have a LONG way to go, through God's grace and patience, I feel that I am a better person now than last year.

So looking forward, my goals are to continue to learn how to feed my family healthy, nutritious meals, to continue to learn about my husband, and the wife he needs and deserves, to try to model to my children a real life with Christ, not a religion, but a relationship and the ups and downs and mistakes and forgiveness that entails.

I want to get more active, (but I say that every year), and I want to read more books, (I say that every year too, but I usually do this one!!) and I want to believe that this year will be another year that the Lord adds more children to our family.

But most of all, my goal is to draw closer to my Abba, because apart from Him, I can do nothing. Without Him, I will be the same next year as this. Without Him, I will be alone. Without Him, I AM nothing.

Praise You Yeshua, my Saviour King. 

How do you stop...

We have so much chocolate in our house!!!!

For Christmas we were inundated with gifts of chocolate, biscuits, sweets of all descriptions, and are now flooded!

My no sugar rule seems to have gone out of the window, and I am feeling very lethargic for it. 

How do you stop people buying sweet treats for gift or for your children???

Does anyone have any ideas? 

I feel mean just getting rid of it all, as the children are old enough to know who bought them it and how much they have left, so I cant even sneak it out!!!

My kids are very good at only having it when they are told, but it's me!!!! there is so much temptation around, it's driving me crazy!!

I can't wait to get back to eating our usual food ALL the time! 

Raw Milk arriving in a few days, so let the healing begin!!

And then it was all over......

How crazy we all get for just a few days a year!!

I hope and pray that your Christmas was a blessed one, but it always amazes me how much pressure we put ourselves under at this time of year!!

I'm thinking about this because I took our trimmings down today. 

For me, Christmas is done on my birthday, which is 27th, and since I don't want to do a lot on my birthday, they usually come down the day after. I was sick yesterday, so I have made the effort after church today to take them all down and get cleaned up in the house. 

As I look around my bare room now, it makes me think of all the fuss that goes into Christmas.

I'm not talking about being prepared, I'm talking of the stress over things being just so for the in-laws, or making sure we have enough this or just the right that! 

I like to spend Christmas just us in our home, after many of my younger years were spent working, but Boxing day is usually our time for visiting with family. This year, we were the guests at my mum's. We usually host her, but with DH work commitments, she invited us to her house, and we had a lovely time. I am very lucky to have a relaxed family, with no formalities or rigid traditions to govern me, and it was a relaxed, lovely time. 

On Christmas day itself, we spent time in the morning thanking Jesus for all the generosity we had been shown with all the gifts we had received and Christmas dinner was ready when it was ready!! 

We had a lovely quiet family day, and there was no stress, just the peace and joy of time spent together and with the Lord. 

As Christmas should be.

I am truly blessed. 

Consumerism gone mad??

Is it just me, or has Christmas just got more and more about "STUFF"???

As we approach this special day, every year seems to become a competition of who can spend the most amount of money on the most amount of stuff for the most amount of people and win!!

When did this happen???

I didn't grow up in a Christian house, so it was never really about Christ, unfortunately, when I was a kid, but we always spent time together, watching various films as a family, and just enjoying each other's company, with good food and a gratefulness for the things we did get!!

Now that I have grown up ( a little....), I want to instill some of the same things in my children; spending time with those you love and a gratefulness for what they have, but also an appreciation for the greatest gift mankind was every given.

A way back to God.

This holiday is not about Stuff. Jesus was given meaningful presents by the Magi, and a small, thoughtful present is the most we have done this year. Instead, our focus will be along the lines of the American Thanksgiving. We give thanks for our family around us, who have thoughtfully given us presents. We are thankful for the special treats and food we can put on our table, and the means to do so. We are thankful for a roof over our heads and heating and lighting. 

But most of all, on Christmas day, Santa falls by the wayside in the presence of the KING of kings and the Lord of lords, our most precious gift, Jesus Christ. 

So there is no mad rush on Christmas Eve in our house, there are no £££££ signs in our children's eyes as they stare at a mountain of useless "STUFF" that will be forgotten by suppertime. There will be fun and laughter, thanksgiving and prayer, and Jesus.

Amen.

Shop til you drop....off to sleep

So It's the Friday before Christmas. 

I'm not just stating the obvious, I'm letting that sink in!! 

Today is the final shop for us, the Food Shop!!!!!

How do we beat the crowds, I hear you ask. It's mayhem, why leave it so late, you say.

Well, my hubby has developed a secret weapon over the years...... nighttime shopping!!!

We go at 11pm when the store is so much quieter, and we can get all we want, in peace and quiet, without getting pushed or shoved or screamed at, and we can get it home and put away before the children are any wiser at the goodies coming into the house!!!

Now there are downsides to this:

• If you have little ones, it may be hard to get a babysitter at that time of night, if you cannot ask a family member.
• The store usually stocks up at night, so they may be out of a few of the things you want.
• You either have to stay up late, or get up REALLY early, and I struggle with both of those options, so a nap in the afternoon will ensure I stay awake for the lesser of the two evils, late night shopping.

We have decided on a pared down Christmas this year, on the food front. For years, we have gone mad at Christmas, boxes of sweets, gallons of fizzy drinks and alcohol, and tubes of crisps. Not so this year. we are spending our money on good fats (goose fat, butter,) Nuts and seeds, and meat. My Bone broth will make it into almost every meal, and so will our good fats, so that when we do occasionally indulge in sweet things, (like at nan's on boxing day) then our bodies are equipped to handle it from the goodness we have been getting the rest of the time!!

That's my plan, now this sweet tooth junkie just needs to stick to it.

I figure, if I don't buy it, I can't eat it........right??........

Christmas time, Mistletoe and wine.....

It's Almost CHRISTMAS!!

Anyone who knows me well, knows that Christmas is my MOST favorite time of the year!!

I just love the cozy nights, the twinkling lights, and the fact that we take the whole of December to do Christmas crafts and watch Christmas films (a hundred times each, much to DH's disapproval!)

So our Christmas craft list looks a little like this:

1. 3D Christmas trees
2. Christmas cards for our church
3. Night time chalk pictures, winter scenes
4. Silhouette Christmas theme pictures
5. baking ginger cake
6. baking Christmas shaped cookies, and of course the good old favorite,
7. paper plate snowmen!!!

Our 3D trees are beautiful, but the refuse to stand up for more than 30 seconds at a time, but our church Christmas cards were a HIT!!! Simple, (just some colored card with a stencil drawn on the front with our Christmas cookie cutters!!) but very effective when colored in with metallic pens and each of the kids' personal touches on!!

I love homemade cards and gifts, I just think it shows you are thinking of people in a personal way. It's extra special when it's your children who make them!!!

So we are having great fun with this Advent, how about you???

Fight the Christmas Blues

I don't know about you, but wintertime brings the germs, and everyone around you is coughing and spluttering, and every child has to be told 20 times to "PUT YOUR HAND OVER YOUR MOUTH!!!!!!!"

This year, after our real food/health conversion, I didn't want to plough us all with the over-the-counter cough and cold remedies, so I turned to my favorite blogs to see what others have used to combat the dreaded Flu season. 

I have managed, with my newly tuned taste buds, to acquire a taste for the good old favorite, Honey, Lemon and hot water, and this help immensely.

I also found, through quite a few blogs, but in particular this one, from Red and Honey, that there are certain essential oils that you can use, to diffuse, but especially to rub on the soles of your feet, that help with this season.

So that's what I did.

I used eucalyptus oil on my feet, and burned Peppermint and eucalyptus oil in my oil burner, and drank my lemony honey brew, and ate copious amounts of satsumas. (abundant at this time of year, of course) and my cold lasted a sum total of 3 days, start to finish!!!!

Very pleased with that, and was able to sing at the local carol concert on the Sunday!! (was getting sick on the Tuesday, and my throat is the first thing to go and the last to come back!!!) 

Very happy bunny!!!

The link above gives SOOO many great uses for essential oils, and they are not just for making the place smell nice!! 

Who knew!!!??

Oh My, Oh My!!

Wow!! It's been a while since I have blogged!!!

Life has gotten in the way, and the first thing to go was the diary entries, I'm afraid.

So what have we been up to?

Well, we've had a week in the middle of nowhere in Scotland, we have been training with our Murphy, who is now 9 months old and bigger than his mama (!!) and we have been considering our diet, as DH has been diagnosed with Diabetes!

This has prompted us to take that last step to eliminate all the processed food left in our diet, apart from the odd treat on a Saturday night!!

• We are investigating the benefits of Raw Milk, and providers we can have access to where we are, ready for the new year.
• We have cut out the sweet treats, after looking at damaging effects of refined sugar , A staple in my diet, and realizing I am HIGHLY addicted to it.
• We have begun eating a lot more butter, live yogurt and animal fat.
• I have made my first batch of lacto-fermented-sauerkraut and it tastes delicious!!! (DH is getting used to the taste...)

So all that on top of Homeschooling all 4 children now, with the challenges that Little Bud presents, and getting ready for....um, what was it,....oh yeah CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (my favourite time of year!!) 

Phew!!!

I will try to be more forthcoming!!

Here is the beautiful view from our holiday cottage just to be going on with...

Come on brain, Get in Gear!

If you don't use it, you lose it.

I have found that to be a very true statement. As I sit, trying to remember how to edit movie footage, I find it to be even more true!!!

My brain knows this information, but I am struggling to drag it from the deep recesses of my mind, in order to get some footage ready for our church Harvest supper on Saturday.

It takes me back to when I was at college, getting my projects ready, fighting through hrs of images and video clips to put to my music compositions. I love it, and I loved learning how to create something that others could enjoy. 

This is how I see singing and songwriting. It has taken a long time for me to be able to say that, as I have always worried and felt that songwriting is too personal to share with anyone else. 

I have been songwriting since college, but since meeting the Lord, He has been giving me lyrics, and so many of my songs are borne out of my worship, about what I want to say to my Savior! 

I have been very lucky really, when we consider my opening statement, that my voice stays in pretty good condition, even when I haven't used it properly in a while. That doesn't mean, though, that I have the right to get lax with it, and of late, I have a little. 

I feel prompted, with the difficulties I have had editing, to get my brain and my butt in gear, and start vocal training on a regular basis again.

Next door neighbors, I'm sorry in advance.......

Time flies

I finally sit down to share my month with you!!!

Well, it's been eventful! 

A family wedding, a family engagement, home schooling, a new prayer triplet,and to top it all off, DH has been diagnosed with type 2 Diabetes and High cholesterol!!!

We are not too worried about this, as we have made some big changes to our diet over the last year, but DH drinks nothing but Cola, and snacks very badly, so changes still need to be made.

I also had the pleasure of sharing a Word with our church this past weekend, and although i haven't done it in a while, and although the enemy tried his hardest to distract with a car crash outside the church (!!!) I felt my Abba with me and was able to share how God's grace is His strength to do what he asks us to do. 

I have also been reading more Francine Rivers and have been very touched by it. I was lent Leota's Garden and found, for the first time, the joy others find in creating and nurturing a flower garden. It always seemed like a lot of work for not much reward to me, but as I saw it through Leota and Annie's eyes, I began to see God in every action, in every job. 

I have yet to tell my DH, but I would like to learn how to tend a garden and enjoy it's beauty. My mum is a great gardener, and works on her garden every year. 

I may just have to pick her brains.....

I believe, help Thou my unbelief

Have you ever been through a tough time with God?

Just been through one myself and it is horrid. 

Situations can be gotten through, circumstances can be work through with God, but what if you feel let down by GOD?

I'm so glad we serve a gracious, patient God, because I need time to go through my feelings. 

I find that something that I am SURE the Lord told me would take place, hasn't happened. 

I don't understand. I am unsure of my ability to hear from God, I am disappointed, as I wanted the thing to come to pass. I feel let down, I feel angry, I feel foolish, I feel, I feel, I feel.

But what I feel doesn't count. What do I KNOW?

I KNOW that God is good.
I KNOW that God is faithful.
I KNOW that with God, ALL things are possible.
I KNOW that God loves me.
I KNOW that what He promised, will come to pass.

I cling to the scriptures with Job, "Though He slay me, yet will I trust him" Job 13:15

What I know must always trump what I feel, because feelings change. Truth, God's Truth never does.

Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Who said the Christian life was boring???!

Life gets so busy sometimes.

Now that we have officially adopted Little Bud, he has begun his homeschooling adventure with the big kids at The School in the Back Room!!

He has taken to it so well. He loves it and asks to start if I take "too long" in my quiet time in a morning!!!

We have had his celebration hearing at the courthouse, where he shook the hands of all the attendees like he was an grown man!! (He's 7 next week!) 

We also baptized our eldest son, our second born, Haribo this past weekend!! He was radiant as he came out of the water and was richly blessed with cards and words of encouragement.

It made both Hubby and I think back on our own journey with Jesus. we would never have pictured then, 6 and 5 years ago respectively, when we were baptized, just how far the Lord would take us, and the adventure it would be. 

I am so thankful that I have Jesus in my life, making the difference. 

May I always ask "what can I do for You today Abba?"

We will NEVER forget...

As I sit here with Haribo, catching up on our programs while daddy is at work, as we settle in to watch the 9/11 documentaries that we taped, I am humbled.

I am humbled by the stories from so many who risked their own lives, who lost their loved ones and continued to search for other survivors, who saved lives.

I thank God for those willing to help. 

I thank God for the Brave.

The survivors will never forget.

Neither will we.

It's ALIVE!!!!!!

I'm very impressed!!

I've been making a Ginger bug for my fermented Ginger Beer and I think it's now ready!!!

I found the recipe Here and have been trying it out, having never tried fermenting before.

It looked like slush for days, but the recipe says that it is ready when it starts to bubble as you stir it.

It's BUBBLY!!!! 

I'm really looking forward to making this, as it is a healthy, probiotic soda, and I do have to say, I get a little bored of drinking just water.....

So another week of fermenting in the bottles, and we will be ready to taste.

I will let you know how it all goes....

True Worship

I am so glad that Jesus takes us through seasons and doesn't dump everything on you at once....

He has been taking me back to what worship is about. I have sung since i was 13 yrs old, and spent a long time working in the pubs and clubs in Northern England, notoriously some of the hardest crowds in the world. When I met Christ, I thought this would just translate to my calling in Him. 

Not so!!!!!

I love to sing, and I do believe I am called to lead God's church in worship, but my heart has had to be made right first. 

My biggest problem is pride. As a performer, I have always defined myself by my voice and my ability to sing. Everyone around me has always done the same. This doesn't wash with God. 

I am not accepted by him because of what I do, I'm accepted by Him because he loves me. Because he chose me before the foundation of time. 

I have had to be stripped of everything that I got my strength from, so that my strength comes from the Lord. I have had to learn AGAIN what true worship is, that it is not a performance on a stage, it is not to be done Just on a Sunday morning, but should be WHO WE ARE!!!! we should have an attitude of Worship, thanking the Lord at all times, working as unto the Lord, whether it is in church, or doing the dishes, or putting the 13 load of laundry on that day, or driving to work, or helping your neighbour with their groceries. 

All things done to the Lord are tiny acts of worship. It tells Him and the world that Jesus is Lord and THE Lord of your life. 

THAT is true worship, my friends, not singing a few songs on Sunday morning..... 

Thank you for that lesson again, Abba...

Weekend Links

Ahhhhh. I am finally sat down!! 

My lovely dogs decided it would be funny to destroy a 15kg bag of flour while we were at church today! Needless to say, I spent a while cleaning it up, and cleaning them up!

I had to laugh, or I would have cried. 

I chose to see it as an incentive to mop my floor, which has been on my to do list all week.

So this week, I have not had much time to peruse the blogosphere, but came up with these crackers:

The Boy tricks me down a rabbit hole @The Common Room - made me giggle, it's all in the tone....

Squash Comparison @ Domestic Serenity - Very VERY true! 

and 

A day in the life @ KOTH - I love this series, but this one especially spoke to me, as we have been waiting on God for our adoption of Little Bud!

Only a few, but worth the read.

My week got better

So I have been home schooling all 4 children for 1 full week and they are still alive and breathing!!!!! (you laugh, it was a close one!)

Actually, despite the stresses and strains of settling back into the school routine, the loss of our local weekly Home Ed group, and teaching a very particular boy the ropes, we have had a good week.

Learning how to teach a new child is hard. All my babies learn differently, and obviously have different needs, and Little bud in particular has very specific strengths and weaknesses, so it has been an eye-opening week. 

I know we can do this, despite my near atomic breakdown yesterday, sobbing to Jesus that I can't do it, that I'm not patient enough, and  all the 'not enough's' I could come up with. The scripture that got me off my sopping wet pillow was "i can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me" Phil. 4:13 

When Abba asked me to home school our children, He gave me the scripture 2 Corinthians 12:9, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness" 

It is this that I cling to now, when I feel overwhelmed. My Father told me to do this, and he would strengthen me. I trust in Him and Him alone. I have to, or every day would be spent sobbing on my pillow!!

I am a new creation, and my Abba loves me, and believes in me. 

That's all I need. 

And some coffee......

How hard can it be....?

Famous last words, eh! 

Why do I do it to myself???

If you have seen my weekend recommendations this week, you will have seen that I have been finding out about the effects of sugar on the body. 

You see, I have very soft teeth, bones and nails. I was reading a lot on the KOTH website about why soaking your grains is so important, and found that it can leech calcium and other essential nutrients from your body. 

This got me wondering......

Could this be my problem? I got to reading, through other sites, about sugar. Sugar doesn't rot ones teeth in the way we think it does. The way the body deals with too much sugar is to do very much the same thing as the un-soaked grains do. It leeches nutrients out of the bones and teeth.

Now anyone who knows me, knows that I have the BIGGEST sweet tooth EVER!!!! 

Not only has this lead to weight problems my entire life, but I am now starting to think this may be some of the reason my teeth break so very easily, despite my best oral hygiene efforts.

So....... I have tried to cut out sugar from my diet.

Yes, you heard me right, I am cutting out sugar. I had managed no sugar for 1 full week until I succumbed to a chocolate biscuit on Sunday at church, and after a very stressful day today, I have caved again and had a lolly after dinner, but I feel that is not too bad, considering I usually have something sugary sweet at every meal!!!

I have suffered a few headaches, but overall, I feel fine.

I have included fruit in my non sugar diet, as the natural sugars are dealt with slightly differently than commercial sugars, and I need the vitamins from the fruit too.

Today, as I said though, has been particularly stressful in a couple of ways, and tonight, even though I know it will only be a false high, and I will crash later, I have indulged. 
And I already feel a little ill. 

Habits are so hard to change. Anyone else struggled with sugar cravings?

Recommendations from this week...

Ahhhhh, a weekend's rest!

Saturday has always been the day that I try to do very little, as Sunday is a busy day for us, but recently, Hubby has been working extra shifts and our boys go to Kickboxing lessons on a Saturday afternoon.

As we have been without a car for a while now, this means a bus trip and a two hr class for us to sit in on. 

Daddy usually takes the boys, but with his shifts, it's been Mama's turn. So no day off.

However, a cancelled lesson means a day to relax, so here are a few of the websites and blogs I have been interested in this week.

Links

Is your vision of your personality too narrow? @youngwife'sguide (this is me!!)

10 Things you didn't know about sugar post on thehuffingtonpost.com  (currently on day 3 without sugar, feeling a little off, but I'm the girl who passes up on dinner to eat pudding, so I shouldn't expect any less really!)

Week 15 of 52 ways for more Serenity in life and home @Domesticserenity

Ferments @realfoodlover (trying the ginger beer ferment as we speak)

Enjoy!

Balance: the whys and wherefores

It never takes much for me to get out of balance.

I am an extremely faddy person. I get fixated on things and they become all i think about. then I want to try things myself, and praise God I have an accommodating husband!

I go mad and then..... 3 weeks later I'm done. 

This happened with simple, green, clean living. 

I saw some blogs, read some research and that was it, I was away. 

I wanted to change everything at once, because when you know this stuff, you cant un-know it, can you!?

Well, you guessed it, a lot of my "simple living" ideas went out the window very quickly. 

Then I felt guilt for not doing it! 

The things we put ourselves through, eh! 

So I've been praying, and I feel we have come to a place where I need to start taking a more relaxed approach. 
A great tip I saw on another blog was work out what matters to YOU, not what you have seen others do. 

It is important to us to homeschool our children. It is important to us to eat nourishing real food, but sometimes we like to eat takeout, and once in a while, that's fine too. It's important to us to limit the amount of chemicals in our house, and I want to reduce my sugar intake. but most of all, it's important to us to model a life with Jesus to our children, by living a life with Jesus in front of our children, mistakes and all. 

So, I share with my kids what God is doing in my life, they see the changes that are taking place in me and DH, and we encourage them in their own walks.

THAT'S important to me.

NOT all the other stuff. Praise You God, for showing this stubborn woman a different way.

Parenting dilemas

So how do we deal with consistent disobedience?

I am struggling with my beautiful, willful daughter at the moment. 

We have been battling over internet usage, but we always come to the same place. We give a little, trying to build trust, and she gets caught sneaking. 

We have tried taking all privileges away, we have pin-protected all devices that don't belong to her, we have tried allowing some access with parental monitoring, nothing works, she always seems to find a way around it.

I understand that this is a heart issue. 

She is challenging our authority, and is deceived into thinking that she is pulling the wool over our eyes. 

I must admit, as I write this, that I have been praying for the wrong things. I have been praying that I will parent her right, and that she will step into Jesus' plan for her life, when I should have been praying for Jesus to open her heart to His ways and that the Holy Spirit will reveal to her that her heart attitude to this is wrong. (she is born again and baptized)

Godly parenting is such a joy and a privilege, but it is also one of the most challenging, eye opening roles one can have, beaten only by Godly marriage, i think! 

Prayers would be appreciated right now!!

Awesome, in the true sense of the word..

I was watching part of the Hillsong conference on TV this morning and a speaker called Louie Giglio was on there, taking about how great our God is. 

The guy has a great dvd about the stars and solar systems and how they all sing to the Lord as part of creation's song.

I've seen this dvd before and was amazed, so when I saw him speaking, I was intrigued as to what he was talking about this time.

He began talking about our cry, how our words and our worship are so important, and that battles are won with the new song that Jesus gives us. 

I love this, as a worship leader, as so many Christians miss how important praise and worship is. It is NOT just a warm up to the preacher, NOR is it to make you feel sweet and nice! 

It is to remind us, and everyone else, how amazing God, the creator of the universe, is!! This is so powerful, because the enemy does not know what to do with someone who will praise God in every season.

Louie went on to talk about the stars again, and the sounds that they make. He played sound bites of 2 different stars and played them together and they made MUSIC!! 

Seriously, they made music. 

Not altered, not synthesized, they honest to goodness made music when played together. 

I was in tears. The creation does indeed worship the creator.

And God wants our voice to join that symphony. He wants it so much, that He sent Jesus to pay our debt so we could. 

God is AMAZING!!!!!

Different.......but not

The first day as Little Bud Gee........ and he has been a little toe-rag!!!!

You know how it is, right? Temper, tiredness, and rules! Not always a good mix.

Anyway....

We were visiting with some friends today and on the way there (a very long walk) we got to talking. My 11 yr old, Smudge, was saying how much his feet were hurting. This turned into a full blown conversation on how amazing our bodies are and how God made us.

I love that we get to bring God into our every day life, and it made me realize that even though I sometimes doubt, I am making a difference. I am making a difference right where I am, to 4 future grown ups, who will go on to influence their worlds. 

Being a mama is the best job in the world. 

Please Jesus, help me get it right......

It's Official!!!!!

It's finally happened!! 

Little Bud is legally ours. 

This morning, the judge granted the adoption order to make the child of my heart into a legal member of our family. 

3.5 long years in the making, to say we are pleased is a GIANT understatement!! 

We have full parental rights, and he is ours as if he was born to us.

Life can be planned and lived properly for the first time in years. 

Praise my Abba in heaven for blessing us and entrusting us with this little boy.

We take very seriously our responsibility to train this child in the way of the Lord. 

Thank you Jesus!!!

He's ours!!!!!

:-)

D day (or A day to be exact)

Tomorrow is the big day. 

Tomorrow is the day our family of 5 officially grows to 6. 

The Judge will approve tomorrow what we have known in our hearts for 3 1/2 years; that Little Bud belongs to us. 

It has been a long drawn out process, with many twists and turns, with many frustrations and setbacks, but we are finally there. 

When we first realized that we wanted to keep this little broken foster child that we had waited and waited for, we thought that it would only be a short time, as God had given him to us, right?! 

WRONG!! 

This has been one of our biggest blessings, but it has also been one of our biggest challenges in waiting. In believing. In persisting. In growing. In waiting, again. 

But every bit of it is worth it, as we wait one more day to receive what Abba Father gave us 3 yrs ago. 

The honor of being this amazingly resilient little boy's family.

Breathe through it....

I knew it would end like this!

I have been fighting with my sewing machine for a good 2 hrs today!

I agreed to alter a skirt for a friend, and I haven't used a sewing machine for years, but I thought it's like riding a bike, you never forget....

Cue 2 hrs of repeatedly trying to get the needle to pick up thread!! 

I have been working with the Lord recently about having and keeping my peace in all situations. So, of course, I need to go through some situations where I have cause to lose my peace!

I'm keeping calm with the children for the most part, so today, it's the sewing machine. 

Actually, I prayed through the whole thing, and when I knew I was about to get cross, I walked away and decided to do it by hand.

It took a little longer, but it saved my patio door, and my peace.

Looks like Abba is helping me in more ways than one at the moment!

Summer reading

I am an avid reader, and that is mainly due to my mama's influence. I can devour a book in a day, if I get the chance, and have often got into trouble by staying up all night to get a brilliant book finished, just because I couldn't put it down. 

So I thought I would share what I have been reading over the lazy days of summer.

I have been reading a lot of Francine Rivers' books lately and still my favorite has to be Redeeming Love, a fictional story based on the book of Hosea. I have read this book at least 5 times and will always go back to it. I love the way Rivers deals with tough subjects without glorifying them, or using titillating language. I have always found her so easy to read and well paced, giving good description, but not laboring the point.
I also love her 'The Mark of the Lion' series, a trilogy about a Roman family in the first century AD and the effect of a small Jewish slave girl on their lives. This literally slays me every time, I find myself asking the same questions as the heroine, "Am I doing enough?"

I've also been re-reading 'The Shack' by Wm. Paul Young. 
Now this book has been the focus of some very heated debate, but I have got SO much out of this book and would urge everyone to at least give it a chance. Dealing with the age old question, "can God be good and allow evil?", this book is thought provoking and always speaks straight to my spirit.

So those are the books that have drawn, changed, entertained and spoken deeply to me this summer. How about you?

School time approaches...

School thoughts are now creeping in to summer.....

Ordering supplies, organizing curriculum, cleaning the room/chairs/table down.

Boo is asking me every day why on earth we are starting to think about school with 3 weeks left before we start back! I keep telling her, this is what mamas have to do! They have to think ahead and get organized. Otherwise the curriculum wouldn't be here on time. There would be no pencils when you reach for one. 

The other thing she doesn't realize is that I am the sort of mama who, if I don't do it now, as I think about it, I will forget and it won't get done at all!

I am a list mama. I need to write it down and have a plan. I absolutely don't always get everything done, but at least it's on the list. 

We have a family calendar with 6 columns on and I always, ALWAYS tell the children and my dear husband that if it's not on the calendar, we are not doing it. If you make an appointment, it goes on the calendar, even if it's just a coffee. DH's work shifts are all on there for the year, all birthdays, all kids activities, everything. 

I need it writing down, to make sure it doesn't get forgotten. That way, I don't get double booked and have to let people down, (which I hate) and I am not late (which I hate more!) 

That's how I have figured I work best (after years of frustration and trial and error) and like I said, that doesn't mean mistakes don't happen, or everything gets done (my kitchen floor is being ignored at the moment) but those are few and far between now. 

How do you manage your house? Are you a list-er, or are you a little more carefree?
Leave a comment below, I'd love to hear from you.

Fear of others...

I have a little dilemma.

We, as a family, have made a decision that I fear is going to be disapproved of, and I am beginning to be fearful of the repercussions of this decision. 

Don't get me wrong, it is absolutely the right decision, and we are pleased with the choice, but I have always been a people pleaser, and hate when people I respect disapprove. 

I am really trying to work with my Father to please Him, and not others, but it is still hard. 

The people that may disapprove are not really that important, they will not be around for very much longer, and I know I am being foolish.

I have to give myself a good talking to, and the word says to bring every thought captive to Jesus (2 Cor 10:5) so I know I just need to pray when I feel fear. Perfect Love casts out fear, so only Jesus can help me. 

DO you suffer from pleasing people? 
How have you cracked it?

Marriage Time......

No kids!!!!

Yesterday, hubby and I had the WHOLE day to ourselves!!!! 

I know!!!! 

A close friend of ours took the children out to the beach and the cinema for the day, and Papa and I were left wondering what to do with our time!!!

We decided to go out for a quiet lunch, to a pizza restaurant, and had some chilling time at home. We could eat when we wanted, we could go out if we wanted, it was lovely!!!!

However, when the children still weren't back at 8pm, I was starting to miss them! 

I love having my hubby to myself, and I love the break from the constant calls of "Mum, tell him!!" "mum, can I...." "MUUUUUUUMMMMMM"
but.....
I wouldn't trade them for the world!

I love my loony, crazy, irritating, amazing, beautiful children, and are glad when they all come home again!!!

Pondering....

I was talking to a lady at the bus stop a couple of days ago, as you do, and she was making a joke about being allergic to children.

She said she didn't like her own kids when they were young, so she was definitely allergic to mine!!

She was trying to be funny, but it really struck me in a sad way. 

That used to be me! 

I hated school holidays, when it meant I had to be home all day with my children. I hated having to find things to occupy them all day long for those long summer months, and would be close to throwing a party when term time appeared on the horizon once more!!

How things have changed. 

It made me so thankful for the revelation that my children are a gift from God. That they are here, and mine to take care of, for such a short period of time. That, although I have bad days, they are to be cherished and appreciated for just being children. For having their own personalities, and quirks. 
Some of our favourite phrases as a family are coined from what the children have said. It is unique. They are unique.

So I am most definitely NOT allergic to children, I love them. And that lady doesn't know what she's missing out on.....

Light and easy

It's been quite a deep spiritual time of learning for this mama lately, so I thought I'd lighten up, and give a really easy basic white sauce recipe that never fails. 

It can be used in so many dishes, as a cheese sauce, a mushroom sauce, or parsley, anything really, and it's a no-lumps, never-fail recipe, so I love it. 

(We put this on Lasagna, instead of the true sauce, we just prefer it.)

Basic White Sauce
225ml Milk
4 tbsp olive oil
2 tbsp flour

• Warm milk in a pan (do not bring to the boil)
• In a separate jug, combine oil and flour until smooth
• Add a spoonful of warm milk to oil/flour mix and transfer all liquid to the pan
• warm on a medium heat until sauce is required consistency

Voila! Add cheese/mushrooms/herbs as desired and bob's your uncle!!! 
No fail white sauce!
Delicious it is too! 

Lay it down, mama, Lay it down...

Guilt.

It comes to us all at some point, especially if you are a mama. 

At the moment, I am trying to crack the guilt. Crack it and leave it far behind me. 

I feel guilty about the stupidest things, that's the kicker!!!! 

I forgot to put hubby's pants in the drawer, I let the kids play too long on electronic games, I should have spoken more kindly to my daughter, I should have, I didn't, I wish I......

Now I know that I should feel guilt over some things. If hubby and I have had words, and I was out of order, guilt will hopefully push me to say sorry, but once I have, if he accepts that apology, I shouldn't feel guilty for another week!!!!!

It's not right if our whole life is characterized by guilt. Christ died to take our guilt, so it is very selfish of me actually, to carry around what He died to take from me!!!

It is my job to lay down that guilt, when I recognize it, and accept His complete forgiveness. Guilt only makes things worse and it is not from God, it is from the enemy of my soul, and I am nothing to do with him anymore!!!! 

Learning is tough. Parenting is tough. Jesus is tougher! He can take the load. We can't! 

Static movement

Can one move forward while standing still?

I have been pondering this question for a long time now. 

Let me explain...

Before I met my Savior, I was a singer. I still am, but my definition of myself was Kim the singer. It's what I did, but it was also very much who I was. It gave me my worth. If I didn't sing, I was nothing. I have been accepted, loved and defined by it my entire life. My mum loved that I was a singer. My whole identity was wrapped up in it.

Then I met Jesus.

From that point on, I was to be defined by what HE says I am. So In His mercy and wisdom, He has stripped me, over the last 6 years of any public singing at all. This coincided with the change of priorities from singing, and my career, to where it rightfully should be, my family. 
I was raised by a very independent, strong female, who always encouraged me to work, to drive, to go after what I wanted. 

Except I'm not a driven person. I'm not someone who has the desire to be that kind of successful. As my mother doesn't know Jesus, she doesn't understand this. So I felt like I was just.....wrong. I wasn't, am not, what my mum is. I'm different. I love my mother, she has been such a support to me through out my life, I'm just different. 

So, day to day life has changed so much for me and at one point a few weeks ago,I felt like I was standing still. We have been waiting for the Adoption of Little Bud to come through, there have been some relationship changes recently that have happened despite my best efforts, we have lost the car, so have limited mobility, and I said to my good friend, I have felt like I am standing in the middle of a storm and everything I know is flying around me, with me stood still in the middle!!!

But I have come to realise, that although I feel like I haven't prayed enough, that I haven't leaned enough on the Lord and probably... well, definitely have tried to deal with things in my own strength too much, I have grown.

I hear my Lord speak clearly, even when I haven't sat with Him in a week. I see His hand in my life, even when I don't understand it. I have had to come to the decision that He knows best and He knows me best. I don't get me sometimes. I'm with the Apostle Paul, when he says "the good that I will to do, I do not do, but the evil I will not to do, that I practice!!!!" Romans 7:19

But I'm also with him when he says "who can save me? I thank God - through Jesus Christ. 
He is the savior, not me. I will trust in him. 

So can you move forward while standing still? Yeah, I'm pretty sure you can, with Jesus.

Summer is here!!!

Summer is here!! School is out!!

It's always hard having 1 child at school, with the others homeschooled, but I love it now, when summer comes, as I have all my babies in one place!!!

Little Bud is currently at school, because he has been staying with us and couldn't be home schooled for legal reasons, but now, as it is the summer holidays, the fun begins!!!!

So no more early mornings, dragging him out of bed, no more cutting a day short to go pick him up, and best of all, NO MORE PACKED LUNCHES!!!! Well, not unless its for all of us.....

I have been lacking motivation lately, as I mentioned in the last post, so as we have a full house and no more school to worry about, I feel a summer clean coming on. DH goes back to work tomorrow :( but it means I'm probably a bit more inclined to get stuff done, so we shall see....

The summer days stretch ahead, so what are your plans for these lazy days? Learning? Beach? Road trip? Holiday?